a
TM
Volume 36
March 2006
Welcome to Volume 36 of Living on the Edge, the periodic newsletter from Living Edge Life Coaching, designed to inform, educate, challenge and inspire you!
For previous volumes click here.
I knew I hadn't written a newsletter for a long time, but I didn't realise it was 11 months! I am so sorry for my laziness (see confessions below). I have decided to be honest and rename this a 'periodic' newsletter rather than a monthly newsletter as realistically over the next little while I can't commit to it monthly. For a quick update since the last newsletter in April 05, we did visit my sister and her husband in London in May 05 and had a fantastic holiday there and in France & Switzerland. Since coming home, we have moved house (again), Leigh has gained a business partner, Alexander has become a little chatterbox and we are about to gain a second child (in 4 weeks!), so life hasn't been dull. I have continued a little bit of coaching and will now take at least 6mths break from coaching whilst adjusting to having a baby in the family again.
For those who have told me they've missed Living on the Edge I hope you continue to enjoy this edition - you can always re-read some back issues when you feel a withdrawal. I'll keep some more coming.
If you enjoy Living on the Edge please forward it onto your family and friends.
Annabel Varvel Life Coach BA.LLB
Leigh, Alexander and I. Taken November 2005
COACHING CORNER
Confession of a life coach
Confession: I am a procrastinator - Well I suppose that is pretty clear! I have always worked well to a deadline, and my theory is that most other people do too. That is fine most of the time as there are often deadlines that are imposed for us - due dates, meetings, expiry dates etc, but what happens when there are no external deadlines, for example writing this newsletter? Does it just come down to self-discipline? Oh dear! Now I can be self-disciplined about a lot of things and then not about other things (like stopping with one bite of chocolate), so is there something else that gets in the way? Perhaps it's consequences. When there are no consequences, or consequences that are not important enough to us, then we feel we can get away with procrastinating. If I say I'm going to have something prepared for a meeting and I don't, then I have let the other person/people down, and I don't look good - that's usually enough of a consequence for me to be self-disciplined enough to do what I've said I'm going to do. When the consequences are harder to measure, then I can feel like I can get away with procrastinating - but often the consequences are still there, just less tangible. For example if you're expecting this newsletter to arrive in your inbox monthly (because that's what I've said I'm going to do) then you may think I'm unreliable and that may make you less likely to want to use my coaching services. Obviously this is a consequence but one that is much harder to measure! In the end the only person it really hurts is me.
I think we all do this. In a way it's a form of self sabotage. We don't value ourselves enough to meet the commitments we make to ourselves. It's much easier to follow through when someone else is depending on us. None of us like to deliberately let another person down. None of us like to fail or not look good in front of other people. I see this with my coaching clients. One of the real advantages of coaching is the accountability. Having someone to check in with regularly helps stop procrastination. My clients will often do their 'homework' the night before a session, because they don't want to look bad for not having done it. That isn't all bad, becauses at least it gets things done! I think we're all a bit like me and perhaps we just need to build in levels of accountability in order to get things done. I would like to think though that as time goes on, I can gradually become more and more self motivated, that I can value my commitment to myself as much as my commitment to others. Wouldn't you?
According to the quote below, I must be afraid of success - but I'm also good at rationalisation (but that's for another confession)... hmmm... can you fear success and failure at the same time, and if so where does that leave you?! There's a thought to ponder on...
Post script.... I was just on the phone to my Dad telling him I'd finally got around to writing this newsletter about procrastination and he said 'sorry darling I think you got that from me'. Ah-ha! Maybe I don't have to accept responsibility after all, perhaps there is an hereditary gene for procrastination?!?!
GOT A QUESTION?
THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH
If you have a question or situation that you would like a life coach's perspective on... email it to coach@livingedge.net and I'll answer in Living on the Edge.
Procrastination is the fear of success. Rationalization is the fear of failure - Denis Waitley
Questions, comments, suggestions email coach@livingedge.net
To receive 'Living on the Edge' email subscribe@livingedge.net
To stop receiving 'Living on the Edge' email subscribe@livingedge.net and write 'unsubscribe' in the header.
PO Box 1419 New Farm QLD 4005 Australia
p: + 61 7 3311 1207 f: + 61 7 3205 8449 m: 0409 076 040