TM
Volume
23l
Welcome to Volume 23 of Living on the Edge, the fortnightly newsletter from Living Edge Life Coaching, designed to inform, educate, challenge and inspire you!
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Annabel Varvel Life Coach BA.LLB
COACHING CORNER
Childlike curiosity
I am fascinated with my 7 month old son, Alexander. He is just so curious. Determinedly curious. I have watched him curiously trying to pull bottles of wine from our wine rack. I have watched him touch the sides of a Mozart music cube and listen to the sounds of the french horn, piano, flute, harp and the whole orchestra. I have been amazed at his determination in working out once he is standing up again the couch or the verandah (or even the rubbish bin) how to get down again. Often he lands on his bottom, very proud of his achievement and ready to start again but even when he loses balance and goes 'splat' he picks himself up and starts again. He is curious and determined to work things out.
Where along life's journey did you lose that childlike curiosity? I imagine that when Alexander is 3yrs old and asking 'why?' all the time I may not revel in his curiosity quite so much, but I am starting to realise how much we can learn from children. I want to be curious about people, about facts, about the dynamics of different situations. Do you? How curious are you?
How do we become curious again? Let me share with you some tips about curiosity from Coachville - it is something a coach must be great at, and something that is fantastic in strengthening and deepening all relationships.
1. Interested vs. Interesting
Being curious is having a genuine interest in the someone and their
situation. When you are being curious, you are focused on the other person
rather than on yourself. It is about being intrigued rather than you
trying to be intriguing. ie you have to let go of your own agenda.
2. Questions vs. Interrogation
Being curious is not the same thing as
information gathering. Pay attention to whether you are questioning from
curiosity or shifting into interrogation mode. Some good curious questions
would include:
- tell me more about that
- where do you fit in that?
- what is it that intrigues you about that?
- that sounds interesting, can you tell me more?
- I'm curious, what's that like for you?
3. Curiosity for the sake of curiosity
In a coaching session, we are often focussed on results. As with most
conversations, when you are simply curious for the sake of discovery, not with a
specific agenda or outcome in mind, the client often makes much more
progress. Why? Because it helps them get to the most interesting parts for
them as well. If you want to have interesting conversations with
people, become curious.
4. Innocence
True curiosity comes from a place of innocence. Mastering innocence,
after having it trained out of you, is often difficult. Being truly,
innocently curious means not having an agenda for the conversation.
5.
Learn to let go.
To be truly curious, you will need to let go of many things, such
as:
- the need to look wise/good
- the need to fix or resolve the 'problem'
- the need to change the situation
- the need to be 'right'
When you actually learn to let go, it takes you off the hot seat to 'perform' and makes for far more interesting conversation. People are often more interesting that you expect, so if you are finding a conversation a bit boring at your next cocktail party, perhaps you just aren't being curious enough!
Are you curious? Take the quiz!
GOT A QUESTION?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
If you have a question or situation that you would like a life coach's perspective on... email it to coach@livingedge.net and I'll answer in Living on the Edge.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Albert Einstein
Questions, comments, suggestions email coach@livingedge.net
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LIVING EDGE
LIFE COACHING
Grange QLD Australia
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