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Volume
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Welcome to Volume 17 of Living on the Edge, the fortnightly newsletter from Living Edge Life Coaching, designed to inform, educate, challenge and inspire you!
For previous volumes click here.
For those few of you English readers, a humble congratulations on winning the World Cup! I really enjoyed watching the last few games, and of course defeating the All Blacks ;-)
Please forward onto your friends/colleagues and encourage them to subscribe.
Annabel Varvel
Life Coach BA.LLB
COACHING CORNER
FOR MEN ONLY....
10 helpful hints for pleasing your woman!
The last few editions of Living on the Edge have been devoted to various relationship issues. Most of these have not been gender specific. In this edition and the next, I'm going to have a look at some specific tips for men and women. Then we might have a change from relationship issues, so if anyone has a request for a topic, or a question, please email coach@livingedge.net.
So, women, if you are reading this, forward it on to the men in your life (I say men so you remember brothers, fathers, cousins, work colleagues etc) as a gentle reminder!
1. LISTEN - really listen to hear, not to provide solutions. Women love to be listened to. I've talked about this before, but it is REALLY important.
2. Make eye contact when talking. This is part of listening, but you men need to do it so that we know you're paying attention to us. If you're making eye contact it means your not playing on your computer or watching the TV, but watching us.
3. Flowers. Don't buy flowers because you've done something wrong - apologise. Don't buy flowers just because it's Valentine's Day - give a card. Don't buy flowers because it's her birthday - come up with an original present. Buy flowers for NO REASON - just 'because'. And don't buy them from the side of the road or the service station - buy nice flowers and if you can't afford many, a few good quality ones are better.
4. Put some thought into our birthday (& Christmas) gifts. Just because giving gifts might not be your love language, or even your partner's, doesn't mean you can cop out and buy hand cream, flowers or chocolates - be creative!
5. Plan a holiday or a weekend away. Let's face it, I've come to realise that women are generally the social organisers in most households, but most women would LOVE it if you suggested (& planned, booked etc) to get away!
6. Compliment us on our appearance.
We usually take pride in how we look and our self-worth/confidence is affected by how we look and how we
perceive YOU think we look! I was talking to someone the other day who said that her boyfriend's nick name for her was 'tubby'. Hmmmm....(don't follow this example!!!)
7. Compliment us on our cooking.
I have learnt that in most areas of my life I respond well to positive encouragement. Now that I am at home looking after Alexander most of the time, I am discovering that I am wanting more affirmation for the work I do at home, including the cooking. I love it when Leigh says I've cooked a "super yummy" dinner. If your woman can't cook, how about offering to cook for her! (I know some of you men actually do most of the cooking)
8. Make us feel secure.
For most men your major sense of security comes from your work. For us, it largely comes from the relationships we're in, whether they be romantic, or friendships with our girl friends. We need to feel secure - physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually - help us in ways that will see us grow.
9. Come shopping with us and enjoy it (or at least pretend to).
For women shopping is often a big 'release'. We know that generally you don't like to come with us, but please, if we ask you to, please come. We value your opinion (especially when it comes to buying clothes). I heard recently a suggestion to help you enjoy the experience more - negotiate a time limit so that you know when it's going to end and then see it as an act of love!
10. Forgive us.
We will make mistakes and we will hurt you. Please forgive us and don't hold grudges and we will try to do the same.
Women - stay tuned for next edition on how to please your man!
Thanks to Fran & Chas Gullo for some of these tips.
ON THE MOVE...
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Grange Q 4051.
1300 137 803
p:07 3352 7033
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Other contact details remain the same.
GOT A QUESTION?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
If you have a question or situation that you would like a life coach's perspective on... email it to coach@livingedge.net and I'll answer in Living on the Edge.
It's not about what you tried to do, it's about the results. Life is a contact sport, and there's a score up on the board
Dr Phil McGraw.
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LIFE COACHING
55 Sellheim St, Grange Q 4051
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1300 137 803